be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
