So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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