oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
