Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
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