So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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