Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
