whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Couch. On fire.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
