At least make sure they are 18
Why
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
