Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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