Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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