Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Randomize
