Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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