you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Randomize
