WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
So squirting runs in the family.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
