we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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