I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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