I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I wish i was in the wii world.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
