Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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