do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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