I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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