the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
