I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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