i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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