Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
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chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
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WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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