After last night, I could never be a politician.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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