So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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