Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
