You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
