I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just gift wrapped bread.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
