I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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