Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
