Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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