how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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