everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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