After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
