cat food counts as protein by the way
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
