Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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