This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
