I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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