If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
