I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
