i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
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she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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