just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I accidentally burped into my bong.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
