So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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