im about as happy as oj after his trial
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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