I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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