he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize