chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
