6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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