:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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