And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
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It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
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I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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