ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
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Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
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Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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