i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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