I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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