Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
