i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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