I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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