Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
