Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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