Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
