Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I still have a little drunk in my system
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
