You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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