Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
