Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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