So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
