Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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