Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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