i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
smell my finger.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
