I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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