Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
