Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
