why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Someone signed my nipple.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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